the week started off great with Valentines Day
I did it! I went out to eat with my now new friend, Tammy. We started talking and planning this outing sometime in October, and one day in December when we first tried to go, I blew it for us. I forget if it was the weather, sleeping in, or my ED (like having taken laxes the night before or just having too much anxiety about the idea at the last second). This time I woke up, got ready and knocked on her door and I even ended up driving. She is brave, I'll give her that! Just kidding. 
We went to the restaurant and once I realized that she was going to have a real drink during happy hour I decided I was going to try it, too. Water with lemon till 3, then a monster sized strawberry margarita. I picked at my chicken, nachos and cheese and the chips and it's funny because a good plan for these kind of meals is to take half of my food and put it away in a box to get it out of the way for the meantime, and instead of me having to do it and act like it's normal or whatever Tammy had actually brought the idea up! She's into fitness and health in a good way, though there are questions she doesn't have answers for yet about herself right now. It was easy to pick at the food, and eat a little slower then normal. I think it tasted juicy and good, and I didn't feel like I was eating too much, and I felt good. Later I ate the other half for dinner, and I went to some trouble to make sure that I ate when I did because I knew I was getting busy with some things and so I made sure to set the time out so I wouldn't starve then binge later! I just realized that I haven't been eating any more tonight, either, and I can't, because I am out of my binge foods right now!!!! 🙂 
So I am recovering somewhat, but then again, I am starting to take diuretics now. I haven't exactly abused them, though I am taking them for one reason, the other is that I have been bloated a lot. I have been taking 2 instead of one, though.
My girls were with their father for the last few days of his vacation from work. Actually, it sounds like they were only with his parents but I am trying so hard to not care! He lied to me about being on vacation at first! I don't get the man. Why does he even have partial custody, he doesn't want to have to bother!!! I got one kid home clean, and the other will have to just get in the shower with me in the morning. I picked out their church clothes and am still trying to get them to sleep and it's 2:20 a.m. I am frustrated. Not a good time for me to get back to quitting smoking,… I do want to get there though. Soon. Sigh.
Church, My church, is so precious to me. I want to get there on time tomorrow, and get back into the swing of things. I have been doing better with stuff this week, and I do need to keep pushing forward. Tonight was a victory for me, I ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner with no bingeing and no purging, (with the exception of the diuretics, which don't seem to work the way I thought they would anyway). This week I made it to church on Sunday morning and Wednesday night, and NA on Thursday. I was going to go to my ED meeting Monday but needed to stay with family, because Emily told me that she saw that on a cartoon that familes were supposed to be together then and I figured it wouldn't hurt to miss this one meeting, and I realized how much they didn't want me to go, so I skipped it this once. I went out to lunch with a friend, got to hang out more with cousins Ashlee and Cilla, and Corey, A's bf, and I took another friend to work one day. I have got to say, this was a sweet week, after all! Maybe Valentines Day, or Single's Awareness Day helped to start the week off right! 