who’s that special 16 year old?

Wow, today has been one really long and nice birthday 🙂 I am very happy, the only problem is that I can’t believe that I’m 16 yet. Lately I have been telling people, like in the last couple of weeks that I am 16, I guess to get used to it, but it’s just so weird, when people asked me, like at school, how old I was, I was like 16 wow, thinking as if I were talking about someone else, someone older.

My birthdays have always been important to me, I think a) because we have always been spoiled about b day parties, and b) I really want to be an adult, older and so it’s like each year is a step closer and plus certain things happen each year that mean I’m growing up.

Right now I can get into any car I wanted to with anyone who is over 21 and has there liscense. I can drive. It’s weird, thinking that. Now at 16 I can drop out of school and go and get a ged if I wanted to, or I can noew take night classes to catch up a little, too, I have the power just being my new age.

Welll, I don’t know where to begin, last night I spent the night at dads so he could take me and 5 b day balloons to school, since they aren’t allowed on buses, and I had a nice day at school, I felt self concious at first, because having all of those balloons attract attention, but I loved it honestly when people said happy birthdauy to me,… a friend Nicole even went into her classroom when I was headed to mine and got her teacher that went with us to the camp once and I like a lot, Ms. M, and she came out to give me a big hug and say how she’s proud and congrats and stuff, and called me her girl. That was special.

I got a surprise when I went into the nurses office at lunchtime,… Ms. H was outside and saw me, led me inside and my guidance counselor and the nurse were there and they said happy b day and stuff, and tol me to sit my stuff own in the next room. I headed there, a little confused, and the three adults followed me, the door was closed, and David, he called to me not to come in yet, I igured it out then and we don’t have long lunch bells so someone opened the door anyway, they all said surprise and sang happy b day to me, and I acted like I was blowing out the candles, but they weren’t lit yt and that was why we were delayed, so they lit them and then I made a wish, I closed my eyes and let the first thing go through my mind, because I missed that part at my first party, and it was my real b day today and so I closed my eyes, wished that by this time next year I would lose 40 more poounds and blew the two (a 1 and a 6) andles out, and I know that I’ll make it happen, I weigh too much and am very depressed about it, either that, or I am depressed and trying to blame it on that to keep from whatever I’m really depressed about sometimes. I’m not always depressed, like tofday I wasn’t.

Anyway, it was a a great day and then I stayed after school, Steve picked me up and we went to the area where I’m in the explorers, picked a sweet 7th grader up, and then went to this center for a girls b day that was in my girls group, and well, steve said that it was a different girl form the group, and it was really my favorite, a girl that I was so jealous of at first, she is tall and thin and beautiful, except she has scars all over her arms and stuff, from a lot of cutting. I think thta’s where I learned it from. But, the party was actually not just for her, see, on the cake, it said happy birthday “Hannah” and Mary, and eveyone sang to us, off key, but you know, I loved every single second of it. 🙂 Two surprise parties in one day. I am so special, or at least had this one day to feel like that 🙂 I hope tomorrow is as magical